Recently my husband, OT and I had one of those impromptu talks with Kaitlyn, we have often one on one's with our kids individually, more so because of their age gaps, to always get a sense of what's going on with them. I share this in another post, you can read more about it here. In this conversation, she talked about how she didn't like her skin and that she didn't understand why she had to have eczema. Though this was not the first time she has said this, every time I hear her say this, it breaks my heart. We further explained to her how her skin is doing the best it can for her, and how she can reach for the least resistance thought on how she feels about her skin, to look at the positive, the better feeling. The hardest part is her dealing with the stares and the grimaces of those who don't understand her condition, and having to build her self-esteem up regardless of how the world sees her.
Like any parent, I went to the drawing board once again to understand what can I do differently to help my daughters condition. We always explain to her that we are not wanting to help her skin so that others can feel good when they look at it and not have negative reactions, but have her understand that we want her to feel comfortable with the conditions that comes along with eczema. To my surprise, I found that October is also Eczema Awareness month and had a new hope in that, there is a community out there advocating for my daughter by educating people of this condition. I was one who had never experienced this or knew of it until 10 years ago when she was born. I have heard of people having eczema but witnessing first hand what Kaitlyn goes through, has allowed me to understand that it is more than just dry skin.
Eczema, also known as atopic dermatitis is a genetic skin condition where the skin can become inflamed, causing it to be dry, red, itchy and mimic a scaly rash. Some may experience different symptoms but these are the most common. The severity of eczema can not only vary among symptoms, but also differs among ethnicities. African Americans eczema can reveal as discolored patches that are swollen, warm to the touch and raised lesions. Dry skin then results in itching that then in turn causes the skin to be inflamed and in worse cases if broken, can cause infections, and other issues.
My daughter experiences her worst flare ups at night when she gets hot with sleeping under covers (note we take them off her her and have her sleep with a sheet) but she loves blankets! She also experiences flare ups when she gets anxious of nervous, we have combated this by teaching her meditation techniques.
There are many misconceptions and myths that some non-eczema sufferers may believe. We have worked over the years to come up with the best solutions to meet some of those challenges.
First, It is NOT contagious. You can not get eczema from touching someone with it, holding their hand, etc. It is a genetic condition that is not passed through touching, or being in close proximity of someone. It was important to us to educate her to understand this in that when we weren't around, she would be able to tell someone about it if they ever said something about her eczema. It was at one point where a fellow dancer at her dance studio asked her what was wrong with her skin, and she replied, "Nothing is wrong with my skin, I have eczema, you can't get it from touching me". Her friend replied and said, "Oh, I still like you anyway." Educating Kaitlyn in turn gave her the confidence to explain her eczema and really be bold in helping others understand as well.
Second, You don't grow out of it, some may think as you get older, your eczema disappears, however, as an individual gets older, the management does become a little easier. I must admit, trying to explain to a 6 year old why they cannot have sweets or eat a certain food that is loved by all is tough. Even at 10 years old, we still struggle with keeping her snacking at bay. But I have confidence as she gets older, our constant teaching of drinking plenty of water and eating your favorite foods in moderation will stick with her to help lessen the flare ups of her eczema.
Third, Eczema is caused by stress. Although stress can trigger flare ups, having stress does not cause you to get eczema. As Kaitlyn has gotten older, we have realized that when she is anxious, she starts to scratch. The most common time is as she is getting ready for bed. We have found that giving her a small does of liquid melatonin on days she's had dance or has been out late helps with her falling to sleep a easier and keeps her from scratching. Also meditation and breathing techniques have been introduced to her to help ease stress and anxiety, and has worked very well. The best topical remedy that we have found is to moisturize moisturize and moisturize some more. With years of research, I created a moisturizer for Kaitlyn's eczema that is full of nutrients that have worked well, I share the recipe here.
As we continue to learn more about this condition, new remedies and treatments are being found. However, doctors are still unsure what is the cause of eczema, but we can help as a society to give these individuals who have this condition grace, grace to not stare and be respectful. It's not that the same struggles compare to someone with a physical disability, but in the same circumstances, you wouldn't stare at someone who has a disability with disgrace, but with grace. Displaying love for each other does not contend on conditions on how they look, but the reverence of each other. All skin is beautiful, just as all humanity is the beautiful in the same.
If you have any comments to share, or you have remedies that have helped with you or someone you know who has eczema feel free to share. If you would like to find out more about eczema, feel free to visit the National Eczema Association's website.
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| Kaitlyn on her first day of 5th grade, remotely (2020) |
Be Great,
Stephanie
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