We Are Not the Game

They told us the world was already written—

in pixels and policies, in profits and prisons.

Told us to survive, not to imagine.

Told us to win, not to wake up.

But I have seen another world,

carved not in stone,

but in soul.

A world where truth is not dangerous,

where silence is not stolen

and ethics are not optional.

Where we don’t beg systems for dignity—

we build new systems with it.

I dream of cities stitched in integrity,

where power is no longer a predator,

and transparency lives in the bones of our institutions.

I dream of children who ask why,

and are met with microscopes, not muzzle.

Of algorithms that don’t harvest our trauma,

but hold it gently, learn to heal it.

I see a future

where compliance means communion,

where data is not a leash,

but a lantern.

Where the self is not hidden,

but held.

Where we are no longer players in someone else’s game—

but authors of our own revolution.

So let them keep their spectacle.

We are vision.

We are becoming.

We are the architects

of a world that remembers how to feel,

how to love,

how to live with its eyes wide open.

- Be Great! 

Stephanie 

 

Prescribed: Chocolate Therapy | Super Moist Chocolate Cake + Double Chocolate Frosting

When cravings call, I answer with cake.

If you know me, you know I believe in listening to your body—and when it’s that time of the month, mine screams one word: CHOCOLATE.

The craving shows up some cycles and others I chill. But this right here! I want it rich, deep, fudgy, and satisfying in a way that feels like a warm hug. That’s why I decided to create this Super Moist Chocolate Cake with a whipped-up Double Chocolate Buttercream—because sometimes, healing looks like dessert.

This cake is a direct response to one of those "I need chocolate now or I might cry" days. I asked ChatGPT to help me create something simple but indulgent. Something that doesn't require bakery skills or rare ingredients—but delivers all the flavor and satisfaction I’m craving.

And let me tell you—this recipe delivered.

Why You’ll Love This Recipe

• Moist, rich, and tender (thanks to buttermilk and hot coffee)

• Deep chocolate flavor with a hint of espresso magic

• Fluffy double chocolate frosting that melts into the cake

• Simple ingredients, major reward

• Perfect for journaling, binge-watching, and curling up under a blanket

This cake is now officially a part of my monthly self-care ritual, and I'm sharing it with the world! Make the cake, eat the cake! 

The Recipe: Chocolate Cake with Double Chocolate Frosting

Ingredients:

For the Cake:

• 1¾ cups all-purpose flour

• ¾ cup unsweetened cocoa powder

• 2 cups sugar

• 1½ tsp baking powder

• 1½ tsp baking soda

• 1 tsp salt

• 2 large eggs

• 1 cup buttermilk

• ½ cup vegetable oil

• 2 tsp vanilla extract

• 1 cup hot coffee (or hot water + 2 tsp espresso powder)

For the Double Chocolate Frosting:

• 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened

• 1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

• 6 cups powdered sugar

• ⅔ cup milk (plus more as needed)

• 2 tsp vanilla extract

---

Instructions

1. Bake the Cake

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease and flour two 8-inch round cake pans.

2. Whisk together all dry ingredients.

3. 
   Add eggs, buttermilk, oil, and vanilla. Mix until smooth.
   
   
   
   

4. Stir in hot coffee. Batter will be thin!

5. Pour into pans and bake for 30–35 mins. Let cool.

2. Make the Frosting

1. Beat butter until creamy.

2. Add cocoa powder and beat until smooth.

3. Gradually mix in powdered sugar and milk, alternating.

4. Add vanilla. Beat until fluffy.

3. Assemble & Heal

     1. Frost cooled cake layers generously.

 

2. Add a few swirls, take a deep breath, and treat yourself.

- Be Great! 
Stephanie 

Returning to Myself: The Quiet Work of Nervous System Healing

There’s a kind of tiredness that sleep doesn’t fix. A quiet buzz beneath the skin, a breath you can’t quite exhale. Lately, I’ve been noticing that I’m not just physically exhausted—I’m systemically overwhelmed. Like my body has been holding its breath for years.

And the truth is: it has.

I’m learning now that this isn’t just anxiety. It’s not just stress. It’s the echo of survival mode—years of pushing through, holding it together, showing up, smiling, managing, and absorbing. My nervous system has been doing everything it can to protect me, and now it’s tired.

I’m not broken.
But I am being called back to wholeness.

For the first time, I’m not trying to fix myself. I’m listening. I’m giving space to the trembling. I’m giving softness to the parts of me that never got to rest. I’m choosing to build a relationship with my body, not just use it as a vehicle to “get through the day.”

This is sacred work.
It is small.
It is slow.
And it is enough.

I’m not doing it perfectly. Some days I forget. Some days I still try to outrun the stillness. But more and more, I’m learning to breathe on purpose. To notice where I am. To whisper, “You’re safe now,” to my chest. To recognize when joy shows up—no matter how brief—and let it sit beside me without guilt.

Nervous system healing isn’t glamorous.
It doesn’t happen on the surface.
It’s an internal unfolding—a return to truth.

If you’re here too, beginning this work… I see you.
Let’s not rush this. Let’s not demand that it look like progress.
Let’s just promise to return—again and again—to ourselves.

This is the new practice:
Safety. Slowness. Self-trust.
We’re not just surviving anymore.
We’re rebuilding a home inside our bodies.

Guidance is where I feel the most safe, when I feel I can guide myself into this trust. Download the Nervous System Healing Guide

 Be Great,
   Stephanie

The Missed Moment — When Emotions Jump Before We Notice

 

Sometimes I jump emotions.

I don’t mean mood swings — I mean I feel the scale of it all, back to back, wave after wave. One second I’m hopeful, then I’m tight with pressure. And it’s wild because the shift isn’t the problem. It’s the missing. The moment I don’t notice what I’m feeling. That’s where I lose the ground beneath me.

Noticing your emotions — that’s the missing piece. That’s the bridge.
We’re told you can shift from sadness to joy, but no one tells you how fast it can happen if you’re present enough to recognize the emotion as it’s forming.

I’ve been in this pressure ball lately.
It feels like being born again — the squeezing, the heart racing, the urgency of life happening to you, through you, for you — and you want to be ready. You have to be ready. The pressure says, "What’s coming? What are you calling in? What are you allowing?"

I want all the good things. I want everything I’ve worked for to flow to me.

But I also know that the way I feel determines how those things show up — or don’t.
And I’ve been focusing so hard on staying in alignment, staying faithful, even when it hurts.

Yesterday, my daughter almost missed her dance clinic.
She lives for this. It would’ve broken her heart. And for a split second, that nearly crushed me.
Not because I want to give her everything — but because I know what it feels like as a little Black girl to love something deeply and not have access to it.

People say “That’s resilience. That’s teaching her the real world.”
But I don’t want my daughter’s resilience to be born out of lack.
I want her to grow into her power from a place of fullness.

So I reached out to the universe — to God — raw, open, desperate for a miracle.
I made a GoFundMe. I didn’t want to ask for money, didn’t even share it wide because I didn’t want people thinking I was just trying to sell my book. But the truth is — yes, I do want you to buy my book. I am proud of it. Because I know who I am and where I’m going. And I know the intention behind every word I’ve written.

I’ve zigzagged my way through so many fireballs in this life — dodging shame, insecurity, burnout, fear — just to arrive at a point where I can say:

I don’t need saving. I need alignment.
I need God. I need Source. I need me.

And I’m practicing that presence.
Even when it feels like I’m unraveling. Even when I’m on my cycle and emotions get louder than logic. Even when the only place I find clarity is in silence.

I’m studying myself.
I’m my own case study.

And somehow, my daughter did get back into Dance.
I don’t know how. It wasn’t anything I orchestrated.
It was God. It was the universe.

It did it.
He made a way.
She gets all the glory.

I am humbled.
I am held.
And I am reminded that faith, even when tested, is never wasted.

So for everyone who wanted to help, who thought about us, who loves my daughter and my children — I see you. I thank you. Your energy carried us. And I hope this blog helps carry you, too.

Because every time I slow down and notice,
I find me again.

And I hope you’ll find you, too.

Through this experience, a worksheet was created. I use this to assist in noticing. Implement this into a daily routine, and in moments of spiraling, when the world is going too fast, and you need to slow yours down. Download the Noticing Practice Worksheet

 Be Great,
   Stephanie

Worry.

 

Why worry? “Don’t worry, be happy.” Okay how? Think about all the good things in your life, oh okay….YEARS LATER…All you do is think about the good in your life, you think this that the other stuff too, no, I just am focusing on being happy, no you need to change, person starts focusing on the things others’ wants them to. Cycle continues. In psychology, rumination typically involves overthinking about past events, problems, and/or concerns. We do this until the Cognitive preoccupation with potential of these past events, problems and/or concerns are constantly on our minds. Our minds are constantly on the past event, problem, and concern. We cannot think of it any other way. But if we were to focus on the good, where would that take us?

 Be Great,

   Stephanie